Pages 1-100
Pages 101-200
Pages 201-300
Pages 301-400
Pages 401-500:
1. "I looked for you on the Trident," Ned said to them.
"We were not there," Ser Gerold answered.
"Woe to the Usurper if we had been," said Ser Oswell.
"When King's Landing fell, Ser Jaime slew your king with a golden sword, and I wondered where you were."
"Far away," Ser Gerold said, "or Aerys would yet sit on the Iron Throne, and our false brother would burn in seven hells."
"I came down on Storm's End to lift the siege," Ned told them, "and the Lords Tyrell and Redwyne dipped their banners, and all their knights bent the knee to pledge us fealty. I was certain you would be among them."
No one talks like this. And I don't just mean in a modern context - I mean in the book. There is no precedent for this stilted, highly formalized speech. If it were in a retelling of a legend, it might be justified, but this is Ned's memory; people should sound like human beings, not exaggerated legendary figures.
2. "I know, child." The black fish that fastened his cloak was Brynden's only concession to ornament. "I had to hear it from Maester Colemon."
Nit-picky, maybe, but WHAT IS THAT SENTENCE DOING THERE? It has nothing to do with the dialogue bracketing it, and in fact there's no reason for Catelyn to have noticed it in particular here.
Was this book edited at all? The writing is so technically incompetent that I genuinely have to wonder.
3. And it must be said of Ser Vardis Egen that he was true to his lady's command, even to the last.
Mr. Martin, no more writing books for you until you learn what perspective is and how to keep to it, and that this is not something you can write in third-person limited. Honestly, this is the kind of mistake I would expect from... from Alexandra Adornetto, and she's a teenager so she has more excuse.
4. Your half brothers, a voice in side reminded him. And Lady Stark, who will not welcome you. There was no place for him in Winterfell, no place in King's Landing either. Even his own mother had not had a place for him.
Wah wah wah poor John Snow's life is so miserable. Raised by his lord father, instead of abandoned; treated and trained almost like a full son; surrounded by half-siblings who adore him; accompanied by an albino direwolf who obeys his every command - YEAH, I'M SO SORRY FOR HIM. Not. And his wangst, unjustified as it is, is really tiresome. Maybe if Martin had bothered to show how Catelyn made him feel unwelcome at Winterfell, instead of telling - but no.
5. "I love him, Father, I truly truly do, I love him as much as Queen Naerys loved Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, as much as Jonquil loved Ser Florian. I want to be his queen and have his babies."
This may be a function of my own complete lack of maternal instinct, but children proclaiming their desire for progeny really really really squick me out. As if Sansa weren't bad enough already - she's a spoiled, selfish, unsympathetic brat - she hits that button too.
6. I really, really wonder how all these nobles - particularly the noble women - became as crass as they are. Nothing in Martin's portrayal of their lives indicates the kind of environment where they would become accustomed to talking about sex so casually.
7. Urgh. The next quote I thought about adding here is just too disgusting. Sorry. Let's just say that Martin writes some of the squickiest sex scenes I've ever encountered outside of The Handmaid's Tale, and that says something considering that Atwood's purpose was to gross her readers out.
8. Khal Drogo spoke a few brusque sentences in Dothraki, and she knew he understood. The sun of her life stepped down from the high bench.
I got really pissed really quickly about the way Dany thinks of Drogo in such endearing terms. At no point in the entire book is the fact that he repeatedly raped her addressed. She just magically comes to love him for no reason whatsoever - and the guy does not have a loveable personality. Their interactions show zero mutual respect or attraction, and even after she's supposed to be his 'moon of my life', he talks about her as if she were chattel. It's disgusting. And while it would still be squicky, it would not be nearly as disturbing if Martin didn't just skate over it like it wasn't there.
Pages 501-600 tomorrow.
